On December 31, 2018, I discovered that my new dishwasher had been slow leaking since it was installed. What smelled like freshly-sawed wood was mold! Lots of it! This is what my kitchen looked like when I arrived home from speaking in Chicago. The water mitigation crew had been in. The next day I checked into a hotel and was there for seven months. Yes, 7! What a lesson in patience and practicing effective communication 2019 was! I picked a hotel that was close enough that I could walk to my condo - thinking I'd be there two months at the most. Hah! A client referred to it as the 'hostel'. While the front desk staff and housekeeping crew were delightful and the place was clean, seven months in one room with only a microwave and the toaster oven I brought from home is too long! Why did it take so long you ask? One reason is that there is so much construction going on in Seattle companies can't find good workers. So true. Three were fired from the company who did the reconstruction. Even so, over a year later there is still one issue to resolve. Patience? Oh yes! Effective communication? I was determined to practice what I speak about in my programs when I emailed my adjuster, the various people I worked with at the construction company, subs, etc. And when I talked to them... Truly, Don't Just Talk, Communicate!
Looking forward to leading programs at the IAPD/IPRA Soaring to New Heights Conference in Chicago January 24 - 25, 2019. Can't wait to meet the members and staff! Will be leading Leader as Influencer: Impression Management in the Spotlight for a Pre-Conference session and two more breakout sessions the next day: How to Stay COOL When Things Heat UP! and Getting in Your Customers' Way? Lots of practical tips members can take away and take back to their facilities!
Just finished reading Becoming by Michelle Obama. This Princeton and Harvard Law graduate has some wonderful insights about growing up Black in America, being married to someone she loves and who has some different priorities than she, raising ─ and loving ─ children, being First Lady, and life after the White House. One of my favorite quotes by her is this, “If you don’t get out there and define yourself, you’ll
be quickly and inaccurately defined by others.”
Vocal Fry is a way of speaking in which the voice is
very low-pitched and has a characteristic rough or creaking sound. This is caused by a tightening of the voice box and vocal cords.The vocal cords compress and become
relatively slack and compact. This process produces the characteristic low
popping or rattling sound when air passes through.
Vocal fry is also used in some music, usually in combination with air from
the diaphragm, in order to create a growl
or scream sounding aggressive and
harsh—think Steven Tyler!
NPR’s This
American Life host, Ira Glass talked to linguist Penny Eckert. She
conducted a study asking people to rate how authoritative a radio reporter with
vocal fry sounded. The response depended on the age of the rater. Those under
40 thought it sounded authoritative while those over 40 did not.
Take
the time to evaluate the direction of your customer service and you may
discover it's time to realign your compass. Policies, procedures or people may
be getting in the way. You may even be losing customers because of these three
crucial factors.
Policies you have in place and may need to revisit
Procedures that create hoops for customers to jump through
People skills of those working with customers and those leading them
Policies are often there for the organization's convenience rather than the
customers'. Focus, instead, on how to make it EASY for customers to do business
with you. As Seth Godin says, “Not changing your strategy merely because
you're used to the one you have now is a lousy strategy.” Some policies:
Can be eliminated
Need to be rephrased
May be initiated
Many Procedures
have been in place since the inception of the company or organization─or since the first
person to do the job created them! Many procedures are still followed simply
because “we've always done it that way." Revisit your procedures regularly
and make sure you’re not simply creating hoops for customers to jump through. Review how you and your staff interact with customers:
Face-to-face
On the phone
Via email
Through your website
And, take a close look at the People Skills of those who work with
customers─and those who lead them. According to John Goodman, Vice
Chairman ofCustomer Care
Measurement & Consulting, said, “…almost all employees come to work wanting to
deliver great service; but the processes and policies they work under ─ coupled
with insufficient managerial support ─ are the real causes of customer
dissatisfaction and disloyalty." You can download the complete article at https://ubm.io/2JuZLIY
People need, in the
words of Robert Waterman, 'directed autonomy.' Why they need both—and
why they often don’t get it—is rooted in our communication styles.Many leaders are visionaries, but often
forget to take people with them.And they
are lousy at answering questions—which 70% of the workforce need answered to be
able to perform their tasks!
Be sure you’re setting a compass bearing in line
with your customers' rather than creating obstacles they must surmount to do
business with you.
As we
move into a new year, I ask you to think about what kind of leader you are. Not a leader, you say? We are ALL leaders. Think about it. You may lead an association, organization or
company. You may lead a team at work or your
family at home. You may coach a child’s
sports team or lead their scout troop.
Maybe you’re a parent or an aunt or uncle. All of us are leaders because someone is
looking to us to lead. So here are my
recommendations—articles, books and quotations from some of the experts in the
field.
Marshall Goldsmith is one of the most respected executive
coaches in the country and wrote an excellent book, What Got You Here Won't
Get You There. To move to the next level, he suggests we constantly need to
solicit feedback from our peers, reports, friends and family. At his website, you'll
find directions for an exercise he calls Feedforward. And, you’ll
find more about Marshall on my blog post http://bit.ly/2nt7Cg4
Daniel
Goleman is the author of Emotional
Intelligence. In his article, What Makes a Leader?, he explores the
five main components of Emotional Intelligence:
Self-Awareness
Self-Regulation
Motivation
Empathy
Social Skill
After you
read the article, ask yourself—as I ask participants in my program, “Which of
the five main components of Emotional Intelligence provides me with the
greatest challenge? Which aspect of that
component? In other words, what could I
focus on to become an even more effective leader?”
As
Goleman said, “People are promoted
for technical, operational and intellectual reasons, but fail for emotional
ones.” And his
colleague, Richard Boyatzis, said, “In a
study of more than 2,000 managers from 12 large organizations, 81% of the
competencies that distinguished outstanding managers were related to emotional
intelligence.”
You can
download the article, What Makes a
Leader? at hbr.org for $8.95 http://bit.ly/2GxWSpB
As
John Maxwell said in The360° Leader, Developing
Your Influence from Anywhere in the Organization, “You don’t need power to bring change to an
organization; you need influence – which is actually a more important skill.”
McKinsey partner Claudio Feser said in an interview, “We all can lead better by developing a
better understanding of ourselves, so we can make the best of what we have. Our
research suggests that leaders who are self-aware—who know themselves or, as we
put it, are “centered”—are up to four times more effective in managing change
than people who aren’t.”
I have heeded the
recommendations of these two gentlemen as I update my Leader as Influencer program.
Two crucial factors to foster effective leadership are developing a
better understanding of ourselves and developing our ability to influence.
Change is guaranteed. Here’s
to a rewarding 2018 for you!
In my program, How to Stay COOL When Things Heat UP!, I
discuss three Verbal Aikido techniques.
The first two are Selective Agreement and Limited Response.
I used to call the third technique, ‘Be the GOAT!’ I meant by that: take the high road, don’t push back, let it blow right over your
head, act innocent… A quick google search and I discovered ‘G.O.A.T.’ is an acronym for the expression 'greatest
of all time.' It’s commonly used in sports when referring to players who are
widely considered the most talented.
Today it’s social media slang for someone who is believed to be the best
at a certain skill.
But wait, there’s more! On February 1, 2004, the book Goat: A Tribute to Muhammad Ali was released,
referring to boxer Muhammad Ali as the 'greatest of all time.' And on September
12th, 2000, the rapper, LL Cool J, released his eighth studio album, G.O.A.T. (Greatest Of All Time). The album was a
commercial success, reaching the number one position on the U.S. Billboard 200
chart. I knew about Ali, of course; but clearly I’ve been behind a door when it comes to social media slang!
On my YouTube channel, you can view a videowhere I tell a story illustrating the use of the third Verbal Aikido technique.So what shall I call it? I’m leaning toward 'Intentional Innocence’.Any ideas?
Aikido is a form of martial arts
focused on protecting both the attacker and the defender. To perhaps
oversimplify: if they’re pushing, pull;
if they’re pulling, push. Push back and
you’re creating conflict!
The
first technique of verbal aikido is Selective Agreement—look for something
you canagree with in what the person is
saying.Too often we’re looking for how
we can correct them or disagree with them.Your fallback phrase?“You may be right, and…”
The best way to respond to sarcasm is to use Limited Response . Respond only to the words or subject of the remark not
the emotion or tone behind it.Say the
words in your head without the tone and respond to them.That way you don’t get hooked!And a third technique?Be the
Goat!Practice these and you’ll be
better able to coexist with life’s difficult people—stay COOL when things heat
UP!
Before you lose it, stop and ask yourself,
“What’s my Intent?”It’s our purpose— what we want to have
happen.One of the reason things heat up
is we lose sight of our intent. If we’re
going to stay cool, we must constantly ask ourselves, “What’s my intent—what do I want to have happen here?” It’s very easy to get pulled away
from our intent.In the book, Crucial Conversations, they discuss a
number of deviations from our intent—we can see these in ourselves, sometimes,
or they can cause us to react to the other person.Two of the most common ones?Getting defensive and wanting to win.Both create conflict.We need a win-win to stay cool!Read more in my article http://j.mp/1CHNh95
The way we look and sound in a situation—and the way the other person
looks and sounds—can have a lot to do with things heating up.We call this the Process and can look at it from both ‘sides’ when things heat
up.Did the way you looked and sounded
when things heated up help escalate the situation?And, did
you react to the other person’s facial expressions and body language or
tone of voice?
It can be as simple as being a frowning thinker.Frowning thinkers look mad!And sarcasm is all about changing
the meaning of the words by changing the tone of voice. Many of us react to this tone, causing things to heat up!
When things heat up, we can
blame the heat—and our reaction—on a little critter.Our lizard brain!Otherwise known as the amygdala,
it holds emotional memory—fear, anger—and ‘helps’ us react without
thinking.Seth Godin—the author and
blogger whose TED Talks are very popular—calls it our ‘lizard brain.’ He says, “Your lizard brain is here to
stay.Your job is to figure out how to
quiet it and ignore it.”
A good agenda will help keep the meeting from drifting aimlessly. When a thorough agenda is sent
out ahead of time participants will be more likely to come prepared, you'll receive more buy-in, and a greater sense of inclusiveness will develop. Be sure your agenda includes the basics:
Meeting date, time and place
Purpose of meeting─write at the top of the agenda
Meeting
protocol—may be on agenda and/or posted
Leader or facilitator, Participants—name, department. Be sure stakeholders
are in the meeting if their area or department is involved.
Write each agenda item as a goal or action. Rather than: Discuss budget, write it as a specific task that needs doing: Define budget categories and develop tentative amounts in each category.
Identify the nature of each item: 1) Discussion 2) Brainstorm for ideas 3) Decision 4) Information
Provide
background information with the item
Assign a
participant responsible for each item
Indicate
time allocated for each item
And write the purpose of the meeting on a board or chart paper. Then, when someone strays from the purpose, you can point at it! Have post-its on the table and a Parking Lot posted. If someone brings up an off-the-subject item, ask them to post it on the Parking Lot. Be sure to follow up with them after the meeting.
Everyone appreciates a meeting that is led effectively and stays on time. A good agenda will help you accomplish this!
A
recent survey by cloud-based presentation platform Prezi, in collaboration with the
Harris Group, found that 46% of American workers admitted to texting, checking
email or social media, browsing the web, or even falling asleep during a
meeting. Besides being rude and showing
a lack of social awareness, what could be the cause? One thought? Lack of buy-in on the part of the group. Besides sending out a thorough agenda ahead of time, coming prepared and keeping the group focused, consider having the group fill out a brief evaluation just before leaving the meeting. If you act on their suggestions, it will give them buy-in. And, it will give you ideas for improving the next meeting.
At a recent Professional Development Program I led for the Washington State Association of Counties, a County Commissioner had a brilliant idea! When leading presentation skills, I give the group a planning sheet to fill out before each presentation. Her idea? Think about these questions enroute from one meeting to the next. That way you arrive at the next meeting prepared to focus, contribute and read the other participants. I have another form to fill out for those leading a meeting─with ideas for preparing for the meeting ahead of time. Yet I thought her idea of using this form─having these questions in mind as she moved to the next meeting─was a terrific idea. Here are the questions:
1. What is the situation?
2. What do I need to accomplish?
3. Who is the audience? Who will be involved?
4. What will influence or persuade them─their criteria? 5. What do I need to focus on regarding my nonverbals? 6. What reaction do I expect the audience to have? What are some nonverbal behaviors they may demonstrate that will give me clues as to their reaction?
May you be prepared for the next meeting and the meeting after that and the meeting after that... All day long!
The coffee shop next door to my condo is now under new management─Mark's the owner and Maddie's the head barista.I stopped in to welcome them and let them know that it was an uphill battle. The last ownership and staff did pretty much nothing right. One night soon thereafter I walked by and noticed the only light was coming from the open door...to the kitchen. Stopped in the next day and suggested they leave one of the table lamps on near one of their many, welcoming seating areas. Checked it out that night and there it was! OH, and they remembered my name when I stopped in to say, "Hooray!" the next day. Clearly they know how to listen and understand customer service! Besides that, they make wonderful coffee and serve delicious food. And, they now have a selection of local brews that hit the spot when you need a beer.Next time you're in Seattle and near the Olympic Sculpture Park, stop in and pick up lunch or coffee. Then you can walk the half-block to the Park and enjoy great views and great food. They're on First Avenue between Broad and Eagle. (Yes, a very short street that gives you a direct view toward the Eagle by Calder in the Park...). Great food, great coffee, great brews and great service - with a smile!
My wonderful speaker agent - Cheryl Ferguson of 5x5live - called me the other day to see if she could stop by to deliver something. She arrived with flowers and a handwritten card. Reminded me how often our thank yous are sent via email. And what a difference such a thoughtful effort makes! So, a reminder for us all. Next time someone does something nice for you, mail (yes, snail mail) them a handwritten thank you note. Better yet? Deliver flowers!
Studies show that 68% of customers who quit doing business with a company do so because they are turned away by an attitude of indifference on the part of a company employee. That is, the customer's perception of that employee's attitude. When we're face-to-face with our customers, we need to be aware of our facial expressions and body language for they send messages we're sometimes not even aware of!
And, it's important to make sure your customers feel valued and heard. Everyone wins when you take the time to pay attention to your relationships with customers—both internal and external. Word-of-mouth is one of the most important factors influencing a customer's decision to buy from or work with your company.
Go beyond simply satisfying customers to having them sing your praises! And keep your customers coming back—again and again. When I lead this workshop we:
- Determine the 7 sins of customer service and how to avoid them
- Differentiate among the four essential factors in communication and employ them to prepare for and manage interactions with customers
- Explore how the way you look and the sound of your voice impact coworkers and customers—both positively and negatively!
- Identify the Red Flag words that tick customers off and cause them to get defensive or aggressive
- Demonstrate you're listening and make sure your customers feel heard
- Focus on ways to stay in touch and keep customers coming back
Abraham Lincoln said, "I don't like
that man. I must get to know him better."
This wise man's quote relates so directly to the last questions I ask participants to answer on their action plans in the workshop Impression Management: Influencing Others. I originally created the course for the Directors at Swedish Medical Center and have customized it for many other clients since. It focuses on the fact that as we reach management positions, we are asked to influence a wide range of individuals─some of whom we may have had little contact with before.
They're asked to think about everyone: direct reports, peers, managers of other departments, executives, board members, community members and on and on. Each of us has someone─or more than one person─whom we avoid because we have trouble communicating with them, don't understand them or just plain don't like them. Yet, this person may be critical to our success or the success of our team. For this reason, the final questions they're asked on their action plan are these: What is one critical relationship I need to build? What can I do to begin building this relationship? When, where and how can I commence?
Who don't you like? Who do you need to get to know better?
Leading a workshop the other day, I was reminded of a wonderful technique that allows you to vent appropriately—out of ear shot of customers or team members—and with an end in sight! It’s a good stress reducer and eliminates frequent complaining—which wears everyone down.First you and someone agree to be venting partners.When you need to vent, go to your partner and ask if this is a good time.They have the prerogative to set another time agreeable—or convenient—to both of you. To start, the listener says,
"OK, go!"
After one minute the listener says "Stop."
Then, the listener asks my favorite question,
“Do you need
another minute?”
If the answer is yes, the listener says,
“Go!”
After another minute, the listener says,
“Stop.”
Interestingly, after a full minute or two of someone giving us their undivided attention, many of us don't need anymore time!
There are some important rules:
Venting partners: ŸGive partner their complete attention ŸMake eye contact ŸLook interested─maybe nod the head ŸAsk open-ended, clarifying questions─if needed ŸGive acknowledgment of the other person's feelings
Venting partners do not: ŸTell their partner to calm down ŸGive advice ŸInterrupt ŸSuck up the other person's pain
When the venting session is over, both must let
it go. Try it─you'll feel better!
A former speaker and trainer, Jan worked with professionals who wanted to positively influence the responses they received whether they were leading a team or working with peers; speaking before a group or one-to-one; motivating or giving feedback to staff; serving clients, customers or patients; or promoting a concept or service.
Jan earned the Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation—the speaking profession’s international measure of speaking experience and skill. Fewer than 12 % of the 5,000+ speakers worldwide, who belong to the 14 member associations of the Global Speakers Federation (GSF), have earned this professional designation.
Jan created customized programs for clients in a variety of industries ranging from healthcare to construction and accounting to parks and recreation.
Before you lose it, stop and ask yourself,
“What’s my Intent?” It’s our purpose—
Leading a workshop the other day, I was reminded of a wonderful technique that allows you to vent appropriately—out of ear shot of customers or team members—and with an end in sight! It’s a good stress reducer and eliminates frequent complaining—which wears everyone down. First you and someone agree to be venting partners. When you need to vent, go to your partner and ask if this is a good time. They have the prerogative to set another time agreeable—or convenient—to both of you. 
