Venting Partners: You can't survive without one!

Leading a workshop the other day, I was reminded of a wonderful technique that allows you to vent appropriately—out of ear shot of customers or team members—and with an end in sight! It’s a good stress reducer and eliminates frequent complaining—which wears everyone down.  First you and someone agree to be venting partners.  When you need to vent, go to your partner and ask if this is a good time. They have the prerogative to set another time agreeable—or convenient—to both of you. 
To start, the listener says,

"OK, go!"

 After one minute the listener says "Stop."

 Then, the listener asks my favorite question,

“Do you need another minute?”

If the answer is yes, the listener says, “Go!”

After another minute, the listener says, “Stop.”

Interestingly, after a full minute or two of someone giving us their undivided attention, many of us don't need anymore time! 

There are some important rules:

Venting partners:
ŸGive partner their complete attention
ŸMake eye contact
ŸLook interested─maybe nod the head
ŸAsk open-ended, clarifying questions─if needed
ŸGive acknowledgment of the other person's feelings

Venting partners do not:
ŸTell their partner to calm down
ŸGive advice
ŸInterrupt
ŸSuck up the other person's pain

 

When the venting session is over, both must let it go.  Try it─you'll feel better!

Empower your employees to deliver exceptional customer service

I was just in San Francisco for the National Speakers Association How & Now Weekend.  Our conference was at the San Francisco Airport Marriott Waterfront.  It was one of the best hotel experiences I've had and by sharing this with you, I ask you to think about whether or not you empower your employees to deliver exceptional customer service.

My flight from New York landed about 3:30 pm, so I was checking in much later than most of my fellow NSAers.  When I saw how lovely the view was, I asked the young woman at the front desk if she had a room with a view.  She said, "Of course. That will be $20 more per night."  Still functioning on my penny-pinching ways begun in 2008, I said, "Oh, that's OK.  I don't spend much time in my room during the day."  You guessed it!  Walked into my room and looked out at a beautiful view.  Think about it.  Most people had checked in for the weekend.  She could see that room would be empty.  Why not give it to me?  Why worry about $40?  And the next day, still tired from two cross-country flights, I returned to that room to relax four times! 

When I was about to leave on Sunday, I headed out to the entrance to check on the shuttle.  I was told it would be there in six minutes.  It was windy, so I told the attendant I would be inside.  A few minutes later the shuttle pulled up, dropped off several people and...zoomed off!  I was half way to the door as it disappeared.  As you can imagine, I wasn't happy.  The doorman asked me to wait and went inside.  I followed him and the young woman he spoke to said, "I'm so sorry this happened.  We'd like to pay for your taxi to the airport."  She handed me her card. Lauri Donnelly is the Restaurant Supervisor.  I assume she was the acting manager at the time.  But how often do we see that entities, departments, locations, people function separately and seem unable to solve a customer complaint?  Yet studies show if the customer feels you are responsive to a problem, they will do business with you again in 82% to 95% of the cases.

What about your company or organization?  Everyone needs to be empowered to do what it takes to make customers very, very happy.  To deliver exceptional customer service.  Do that and they will do business with you again and again!

Which piece of the pie are you willing to give up?

With the holidays upon us─and the new year just around the corner─seemed like a good time to focus on our priorities.  AND, think about what to say "No" to.  A classic approach is the make a list of what's important to you─right now.  Your list may include some─or all─of the following.  Or you can create your own list.  

 

Ÿ Career

Ÿ Health

Ÿ Wealth...material

Ÿ Family

Ÿ Social...personal relationships

Ÿ Education...personal growth

Ÿ Spiritual

Ÿ Recreational...leisure

 

Ÿ Personal...self

Then, draw a circle. Think of it as your pie and "cut" it into "pieces" to reflect the percentage of your waking life you will invest in each area. The next time you are about to say "Yes" to a new project, role, experience, committee─come to your pie and put your finger on the piece you're willing to give up. And, if you're tempted to make a New Year's resolution in 2013, read my post about setting goals first.  Happy holidays!

Employ Selective Agreement to be a better listener

As Stephen Covey said, "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."

To truly listen we need, indeed, to focus on understanding the other person.  And suspending judgment.  In other words, be open to new possibilities or alternatives.  An excellent technique to employ is another form of what I call verbal aikido. I introduced you to Limited Response in previous post.
 

Let's explore a second form of verbal aikido─Selective Agreement.  This technique asks you to look─or listen─for something you can agree with in what the person is saying.

 

Instead of: "Are you kidding?!"

How about: "Interesting idea. How would you see it being put into action?"

 

Instead of: "Never heard of anything like that."

How about: "I hadn't thought of that. Would you give me an example so I can understand more clearly?"

 

Instead of: "Well, of course."

How about: "I agree.  And, I've also noticed that..."

 

Your fall-back phrase is, “You may be right, _______.”

Problem is, that phrase is often followed by a big 'But!' which erases everything that was said before the 'but.' Change that three-letter word to another three-letter word, 'And!'  You'll notice I've only used the 'and' in the last example.  It's implied or understood in the first two.  Some participants in my trainings have said, "It wouldn't be grammatically correct to use 'and' in the first two examples."  I agree, and ask that you simply think 'and.' Doing this will help you avoid saying, "Bu-u-u-u-ut!" You'll be a better listener and the other person will be more likely to hear you.

Creating Systems to Put You Center Stage

 

Ruby Newell-Legner, CSP, wowed them on the Main Stage at the National Speakers Association Convention in 2010 as she challenged attendees to raise the bar in our professional interaction with our clients.

And now she is coming to share her secrets with us!

• Learn how Ruby has become a celebrity in her niche market and how you can too
• Find out how to get referrals and testimonials with one simple technique
• Learn how to avoid cold calling and still get booked
• Review strategies for planning your presentations to plant subliminal seeds that make audience members want to hire you
• Develop systems to improve your efficiency
• Learn strategies for becoming a hero to every meeting planner

Join us at the National Speakers Association Northwest Chapter on November 9th to hear Ruby. The meeting will be held from 1:00 until 4:00 pm at the Pacific Market Center,6100 4th Avenue South,
Seattle, WA 98101.  To register and for more details:

http://nsanorthwest.org/

 

See you there!

How to Engage Your Audiences and Produce Results!

 
 




Don't miss this rare opportunity!  My popular one-day presentation skills workshops are usually sponsored by an organization and only open to its members. On October 17, 2012, I'm offering How to Engage Your Audiences and Produce Results! and invite you to attend.  Check out the details below, then contact Jan to register at 206.818.6689 or Jan@YourCommunicationConnection.com

Who should attend?
• Presenters who want to engage audiences and produce results 
• Trainers who create curriculum and facilitate training sessions
• You─if you want ideas you can use in your next presentation! 
 
Lots of feedback
You will have a number of opportunities to make short presentations and receive feedback from both the trainer and other participants.

Terrific take aways
Besides all kinds of keepers, you'll receive a complete 29-page workbook which includes worksheets for you to use when developing your presentations. 

After this workshop, you'll be able to:
• Design a program that meets the needs of your audience
• Apply the principles of adult learning so your key points stick
• Structure a presentation that is compelling and easy to follow
• Reinforce your points with appropriate visuals, props and activities
• Project a confident, professional delivery to engage your audiences
• Handle questions comfortably and deal with confrontation

Here’s what past participants have said:
“Thanks, Jan! I really enjoyed your workshop and learned a lot. It was nice to be with such a supportive audience while performing something where I felt so nervous, anxious and uncomfortable. Every mini-presentation seemed a little easier as the day went on with all the helpful information and feedback I received. Great class!”

“Jan is one of the best presenters we have ever brought in for this sort of training. She is clearly an expert in her field and is also very passionate about what she does. She found a way to deliver feedback (even when not necessarily positive) in a non-threatening but constructive way. I know I will utilize many of the lessons she taught me today.”

Don't miss this workshop on October 17, 2012. It will be held in the Kent area from 9:00 am until 5:00 pm for a cost of only $299 per person.  You'll receive information about preparing for the workshop and directions to the location after you call Jan at 206.818.6689 or email to register Jan@YourCommunicationConnection.com

Be sure to be there!

A beautiful, talented woman died yesterday

Kathi Goertzen, Anchor for KOMO News─Seattle's ABC affiliate─for decades, died yesterday after her battle with brain tumors. I had the joy of working with Kathi for years as her wardrobe consultant. Our "closet clean outs" and shopping trips were full of laughter─for Kathi had a wonderful sense of humor. I loved selecting clothes in red and purple to complement her beautiful green eyes. Of course, red and purple played in her life, too, as an avid Coug from WSU. We shared our alma mater and always wanted to see the crimson and grey win out over the Huskies in purple!

Working with her at the very beginning of her career I remember saying to her, "What do you DO in your shoes?" For they were always beat up. Well, she worked in them─and worked hard! And then there were the pens. She'd stuff one in her pocket, not noticing the cap was off. Yes, ink spread out for all to see. Of course, all of this was hidden to viewers when she became the anchor behind the desk. And by then her shoes weren't beat up and she no longer stuffed pens in her pockets. She still worked very hard and moved comfortably into the elegant, gracious, talented journalist that she was to the end.

Kathi came to a celebration of my ten years in business and spent much of the evening sitting and visiting with my Dad. I had told her that he had a "crush" on her. Of course, he wasn't alone. Kathi was beloved by her colleagues, viewers, friends and family. Please read more about this extraordinary woman at http://www.komonews.com/kathi-goertzen